Last week, the Business Guardian featured an excerpt from a book co-written by internationally renowned motivational author Philip Rochford titled No winner ever got there without a coach.
In this excerpt, Rochford delves into his philosphy of life coaching and the techniques he uses to tease greatness out of his clients:
My biggest challenge in coaching is to maintain my own alignment when a client is not living up to his or her own ability and responsibility to achieve the desires that are capable of being manifested by the client. In coaching, every client wants to move from his or her present position to a new and improved position. The client’s desire for a new position is clearly there, but so often the client does not believe that the desire is possible of achievement and does not follow through on what is possible. I can hold the vision the client espouses, but the client has to take the action to manifest his or her dreams. My challenge is to keep my own balance when a client is not being faithful to honouring the client’s own dreams. I have to remember that I have to view the client’s condition, meet a client where he or she is, and not insist that a client must act as I think they are capable of acting. The biggest challenge is to understand that I am not the creator of the client’s reality, and so I cannot change it. I can provide an environment for the client to change it, but the client can choose not to change his or her position. I only have power to change my feelings toward the situation.
It appears that the underlying factor that prevents clients from reaching their full potential is their limitations that they place on themselves. The reason for this generally stems from their limiting beliefs that are formed through their formation and programming while growing up. These limitations are imbedded through constant referencing of them by parents, guardians, teachers, and friends. Limiting beliefs are formed by constant negative expressions. Examples are: money does not grow on trees, love of money is the root of all evil, blessed are the poor for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. I am not good at mathematics; it has always confused me. I cannot speak in public, I don’t like homework, I can’t sing, my English is poor, my grammar is weak. Listening to various limiting statements overtime become negative beliefs that limit your actions in life. However, you need to pursue your dreams, desires, and goals despite your circumstances, and perceived limitations.
Q: Why do you think it important to help others release their greatness?
That is quite an interesting question because it exposes the point of whether one thinks he is the savior of others, or that he can “fix” others. However, the real key is that this world is one of interdependence of people and this interdependence justifies helping others, if it is possible to do so. My passion is to support persons to unwrap their potential. The process of the universe is expansion. Thus, while in the Stone Age, life was relatively simple, and the needs of the family were easily satisfied by members of the family, today no one family by their own manual efforts can produce all the food, clothes. and housing the family requires. The economic system has changed from barter to a money exchange system for the acquisition of goods and services. This complex human progression helps me to have a compassionate acknowledgement of the power of everyone and their interdependence, and this leads me to see the importance of supporting others to release their greatness. When one person expands or manifests his or her desires, this is an expansion of the universe, and the person produces a part of the creative jigsaw puzzle.
There is the other aspect that I believe we are our brother’s keeper. Whatever you can do to lighten the burden or release individual resistance is worthwhile for universal expansion. Additionally, there is the adage that you cannot spray perfume on someone without getting some on yourself. Thus when you help others to reach for their greatness, you get a glimpse of your own greatness. In a sense, you serve people while serving others, but, of course, the caveat is that you must not invade the psychic space of others. Putting it another, way you must not intrude the privacy of others. A word of caution: we are vibrational beings. In fact, everything is energy vibrating at different frequencies. To help someone release his or her greatness, the person has to be in vibrational proximity to you. Your values and perspectives must be in alignment with each other— your values must be in sync with the values of the person you are hoping to help. This concept is stated in different ways, such as the person must have a similar mindset, or be at a level of consciousness that you can reach, or is open to the possibility of a different position. Jesus had two interesting statements in relation to individual consciousness, when he said, “…neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you”— Matthew7:6. Also, Jesus counseled his disciples, “I have yet many things to say unto you, but you cannot bear them now,” John 16:12. The basis of helping others manifests their greatness. It must, however, come from a position of kindness or love.
What is the difference between coaching and your other business careers?
There are very significant differences between coaching and my other business careers. The most important one is that the client in coaching resolves his or her own problems, while in the other careers I determined the solution based on my greater experience and training than the client, in relation to the issue at hand. In coaching, the client is prompted through skillful right questioning to identify the problem and to respond to an iterative process of powerful questions. This process enables the client to surface the solution that the client internally knows, although the client may not be consciously focused on it. When the coached client arrives at the solution or decision, the client can claim it. Thus, the client is committed to it, and does not feel dictated to, or not quite happy with the outcome. The decision to move forward, change habits, or postpone instant gratification is that of the client who takes ownership of it and can be held accountable for it by the coach. It is not a solution by someone else and therefore the client has to be accountable and responsible for achieving an improved condition.
In the corporate world, on the other hand, the structure requires that goals be set and policies and practices be articulated and strictly followed with measured results being the criteria of success. The client in this case is advised what to do. It is merely coincidental if the client’s goals and the goals of the corporation are in alignment. Another difference is that in coaching, the concern of the individual is paramount; you want to ensure that the client comes into alignment with himself or herself. In the corporate world, the individual has to come into alignment with the organisation.
This becomes unbearable when the values of the individual do not match the values of the organisation. When you are coaching, your main concern is identifying what the client wants to achieve and orchestrate processes that facilitate success. In the corporate career situation, an individual’s preferences have to take into account the rules and regulations of the organisation. These organisational procedures may be totally at variance with the needs of the corporate employee, but the corporate imperatives must prevail.