Keith Anderson

I am happy all of the excitement of the country’s 50th anniversary celebrations is over, especially the fireworks. I am getting older and just cannot take the jamming.

I was lying on a couch when I fell into a doze. My mind raced to last year’s State of Emergency (SoE). The last time I was in a state of emergency was when I couldn’t find a toilet in Port-of-Spain.

The message came over the phone loud and clear. It was James Bum getting down to brass tacks with the attempt to sully the image of Caribbean athletes.

I am fed up of some Trinidadians and their criticisms of our Olympic athletes. I am tempted to think if they want gold so badly, why don’t they go by Y De Lima or Maraj Jewellers and buy it?

The instructions came through the phone loud and clear. It was: “James Bum, head to Geneva right away. Do some damage control!”

I like when the Olympics come around. I go television-crazy, especially when the swimming and track and field events are in progress.

I had plans to write about a study by medical experts which revealed that wearing tight jeans, or pants may lead to twisted testicles and other painful health problems.

The phone rang—Cring! Cring! I picked it up and said hello. A voice at the other end said, “James Bum, I have an assignment for you.